Maria had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her.

"Don't worry, Maria. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."

So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Maria ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest."

"Don't worry, Maria," says her mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."

So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Maria ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"

"Oh, Maria! Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Now get back upstairs and let him take good care of you."

So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and she seen he was missing all of his toes on his left foot. She ran back downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"

"Stay here and stir the pasta, Maria." says the mother. "This is a job for Mama."

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