A man and a woman are standing in front of the judge in Divorce Court, arguing over custody of their baby girl.

The wife is arguing that she should have custody.

"Your honor, I gave birth to that child, very long and painful birth!"

The judge looks over at the man. "And what say you?"

The man looks at the judge and replies, "Your honor, if you stick a dollar into a vending machine and a Pepsi pops out, who's is it? The machine's or yours?"

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