Her husband came home with a tube of KY jelly and told her, "This'll make you really happy tonight!"

He was right. When he left the bedroom to go to the bathroom, she squirted it on the doorknob and he couldn't get back in!



Husband and wife got mad at each other. The husband yelled at his wife, "When you die I'm going to have your headstone inscribed with 'Here lies my wife, cold as usual.'

Wife yells back, "Well, when you die your headstone will say, 'Here lies my husband, stiff at last.'



This man called 911 and said, "You better hurry over to the motel, there's this woman in room 22 dieing of the clap."

The 911 operator replies, "People don't die from the clap, sir."

He replied, "They do when they give it to me!"

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